Summary: When you promise forever it's no matter what.
Disclaimer: Not real
Author Notes : I read a book called "Delirio" it's about a man that leaves for 3 days on for work and when he comes back he finds his wife has gone insane. This is the same idea, were the man (Ray) leaves for work, the difference is that Mikey was already "insane" (I don't know if the term fits him proporly) when Ray left but when he returns he finds that Mikey is missing. They are my favorite couple and I wanted something a bit more about loving and being there for someone no matter what. I'd love feed back on "Forever". I'm sorry for this large A/N and I hope it doesn't ruin the story.
“Are you ok?”
The lights outside the window pass by like long strikes of color melting into each other, ignoring rules and sounds, red turning into white. Are the windows thick enough to keep sound out? Or are your arms strong enough to keep me from harm.
I see the sirens, but I don’t hear them. I see the movement but I don’t feel it. Who is driving? Because your arms are around me.
My mind is a blur; I can’t remember how we got here. I can’t remember where we are going. Your arms feel the same; your arms are always the same. Warm, strong…they are you and you are mine.
“It’ll be fine…everything will be fine.”
Ray…rays of light passing by the window. Time twirling around us and I still don’t know how we got here. Ray…my Ray.
I shift in the car seat, the plastic sticking to my legs and I can’t remember ever wearing pants. Your arm still around me as your strong hand pulls me onto your lap. I feel your lips against my skin. Your tears against my skin.
Is it raining? Is this why I feel so cold? Hold me tighter please, hold me please don’t ever let me go.
My body curls into yours, I belong here. The stars shine bright against the darkened sky. Light can’t exist with out dark, there be nothing to see it against. I’m the same I can’t live with out you. I need you so I can see myself.
The stars blink at me. Sound slowly returning and I don’t want to let you go. I don’t want to let you go.
“I had to find you…” Is that my voice? A whisper in the night, lost between the stars.
“I’m here, I’m right here.”
You weren’t, you were gone and I had to find you. I had to find you. The night was dark with out you, the stars had no Ray to shine with, and my darkness wasn’t enough to contrast against. You were gone I had to search for you. I had to find you.
“Is he ok?”
I found him… or he found me … I can’t remember.
“He is a bit out of it, but he is fine. He’s not hurt.”
I was hurt while you were gone. I was hurt because the air became too thick and the stars wouldn’t shine.
“His eyes are unfocused…”
“It’s always like this after an episode… I shouldn’t have left…”
You left me. They didn’t take you, you weren’t lost. You left me.
“Don’t cry. Mikey, I’m here. Everything will be ok.”
You left me. You left me when you know I need you. You left me alone in a starless sky; you left me cold and empty. I had to find you and you left me.
“You left me…” My voice is brittle like the string holding our hearts together.
“No, no. I’ll never leave you.”
I thought our hearts were strong. I thought love would … I thought love would keep us together, I thought we’d promised forever.
“I thought the medicine was supposed to avoid this.”
“It is unless he hasn’t been taking it. Did you make sure he took them? You have to count his pills; he’ll forget to take them sometimes.” Your voice is thick with worry; do you have to go back now? Do you have to leave me again? I’m damaged, you no longer want me.
“I asked him if he took them and he said he had. I … Ray, I don’t know how to care for him. He needs you.”
“You’re his brother!”
“Not to him. Even when on the medicine he looks at me like a stranger, he calls me brother but …it’s the same as if he called me stranger.”
You’re going to leave me again. You’re going to leave me again. The window, the opened window, I’ll have to go and find you. I’ll find you…we promised for ever. We promised for ever.
“I need to work.”
I want your arms around me again. I want them to block the sounds out. I want them to keep me warm.
“Take your medicine, baby.”
Pills, more pills. If I take it will you love me again?
Your arms are back. Your arms are mine and you are mine, like I am yours. I am yours for ever yours.
“Maybe you should reconsider the hospital.”
“I won’t have him committed. I promised him forever, we promised forever.”
We promised for ever.
The darkness is coming for me. It comes hidden in the little yellow pill, darkness and nightmares hidden in little yellow pills. Pills yellow, blue, white, pink. Pills… sleep.
I woke up in your arms again. In our bed like you were never gone. Like time had never moved. Your hair all over the pillow your heavy arms holding me still, this is how it’s suppose to be. We promised forever.
“Baby,” you whisper. “You need to take your meds.”
I nod. Your lips on my own, your smell all around me, I’ll take the pills.
“Promise me Mikey. Promise me you’ll never skip them again. I was so scared.”
“You promised me forever.” I have no excuse.
“I’ll give you, forever and ever.”
Your lips on my own, your arms around me and my hand in your hair.
“I love you Ray.”